Bi and Sexual Females

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Are you a bi-sexually curious or bi-sexually experienced female or a bi female couple/lesbian couple that is having a difficult time meeting others or locating a group to share your bi feelings with and/or to experiment with and explore your bi sexuality? Maybe you're not totally comfortable with your feelings and emotions that you're feeling as a bi or bi curious female. I can understand, I was there once also.

Even if you are lesbian, or a lesbian couple you are welcome to attend any of L'Sota's functions. We would certainly warmly welcome you.

I am the female hostess of L'Sota and yes, I'm bi. I of course was at one time what I called "simply" bi curious myself, again, at one time. I'm sure that I had the same emotional feelings then as what you may be experiencing now, if in fact you are in the "curiosity" stage. If you are a bi curious woman 21 years of age or older, I may be able to be of assistance to you.

If I may, I would like to provide to you a little background information on L'Sota. Here in Iowa back in the late 80's there was certainly a need as well as a desire for a location where open minded adults as well as like-minded adult women were able to meet other women as well as couples (as in male-female).

A group or a "club" we felt was needed where all like-minded sexually open hedonistic adults could get together in a safe, clean extremely discreet environment, complete with total professional security. A location where women could speak openly as well as honestly about their true sexual feelings in a no pressure setting. A group where bi females could be themselves without being judged by others, those that simply didn't understand.

L'Sota (Lifestyle of the adults) was established as a not for profit club in the late 1980's. Being one of the three that was instrumental in the founding of L'Sota, I am of course very proud of the club L'Sota.

As an open but totally discreet bi-sexual woman as well as for those that may still be in the closet or somewhat there, most all of us, if not all of us, continue to demand total discretion. To me, discretion was and continues to be, even today, of the utmost of importance. This was and is echoed by most all bi sexual women.

In the beginning, conceivability, in reference to a club like L'Sota, was almost too good to be true yet to the three of us it was in fact conceivable. The vision was there, implementation was underway, after months of hard work, planning and dedication, L'Sota became a reality.

Currently, there are many bi women that are members of L'Sota both as bi females of couples and as single bi females that attend L'Sota functions without a male partner.

Bi sexuality among males within our nation is not yet as acceptable as what female bi sexuality is, however it's much more acceptable now then what it was even 5 years ago.

Over 80% of the L'Sota female membership that attend L'Sota as well as those that are active within the lifestyle on a national as well as international basis are either bi or bi curious. Women that are bi sexual or lesbian come from all walks of life, including doctors, attorney's, police officers, homemakers, business owners, retail employees, accountants, students, the list is virtually endless.

It is extremely difficult in our society to in fact meet other bi and/or bi curious women that are "real". What I mean by "real" is a woman that is truly bi or bi curious for her own sexual desires and not for the reason that her, boyfriend, hubby or significant other desires her to be bi.

Whether as a woman you're single, married, or involved with a significant other or somewhere in-between; the situation remains the same, where do true bi and bi curious women meet? American women of couples not only in the Lifestyle but women in the main stream as well where no "swinging" is involved, it is estimated that in fact 40% of women in a "couples" relationship as in a male/female couple, the female of that couple has either in her past been involved in or has had a true desire, much more then a fantasy, to be involved in a bi sexual situation either with her male partner and even more likely without him there.

L'Sota is the answer to that exact question above. L'Sota provides a private, member’s only adult social club where women may talk about as well as explore their bi curiosities. As a bi-sexually curious female you can meet others that share your bi female curiosities at L'Sota.

Lesbians for an example have many more options then did bi or bi curious woman. There are dance clubs for the gay community however for bi or bi curious women? Have you ever heard of a bi bar or bi dance club?

L'Sota provides a clean, safe, secure and fun setting where you are able to be yourself. Most often L'Sota hosts two functions each month, one Dance Blast Social and one Play Nights. You, as a bi or bi curious woman, or as a bi or straight even a lesbian couple are able to attend your first L'Sota Dance Blast Social FREE! All that is required is for you to join L'Sota.

You as a "single" female are able to join L'Sota for only 25.00 for your yearly L'Sota membership. Subsequent dances are only 12.00 - 20.00. Please see the Single Female area of this website for details.

As a couple either a male/female couple or a female/female couple, you are able to join L'Sota for only 49.95 for your yearly L'Sota membership. Subsequent dances are only 25.00 - 40.00 when you attend as a couple. L'Sota is totally supported by donations from its membership.

Meet other women that have the same sexual curiosities that you do. Meet other bi curious and bi sexual women in a no pressure safe, clean setting, where you shall not be judged for your preferences. You are able to speak, as well as be as open, free and discreet as you so desire. Dance in your sexiest lingerie or your most formal evening wear, even jeans, it's your choice. L'Sota is a "not for profit" exclusive, members only adult social club.

L'Sota will assist you anyway possible. Please feel free to e-mail me for additional information or in the event that you have further questions. You may also call L'Sota at 319-329-3306. My suggestion would be for you to review the L'Sota website in it's entirety, this is truly your best place to start.

You must be 21 years of age or older to attend any and all L'Sota functions as well as to obtain information from L'Sota. To obtain additional information on "single" females see Single Female on this web site.

So often we at L'Sota are called, as well as e-mailed by bi females that have met a couple on-line or somewhere else where the "single" female’s experience is less then enjoyable. What we hear is that the "single" female either responds to the couple’s ad on line or they (the couple) replies to hers.

To be totally up front, very few of the couples that do place ads upon the net seeking another female to join them have any experience with a threesome or getting together with another woman.

What most often happens is that the male of a couple will place an ad on-line seeking a "single" female to join them. Many times the ad that is placed appears to have been placed by a female when in fact most all are placed by males.

Many of the ads seeking a single female to join a couple are being placed by males without their female partner's knowledge. What you have to remember is that there are a large number of males out there that push for their female partner to do the "bi" thing while he is there and present of course.

"He" is only concerned with fulfilling HIS fantasy, he could care less if she (his female partner) is really interested or not into a bi experience. This of course often leads to problems within their relationship, if they aren't already experiencing problems.

Here at L'Sota we have heard a large number of "horror" stories from women that call L'Sota almost in tears, in fact, some are in tears when they call. They tell us about incidents that have occurred outside of a club.

Some of these have been, for an example, the female of a couple that she (the single female) met had no clue as to what was going on or what was happening. More than one has related to us that the female of the couple just sat and watched, pissed that it was even happening. That the female of the couple didn't want or desire anything to do with a bi experience. This type of situation we've heard about happening many more than just a few times over the course of a few years.

Here is another one to watch out for. When you as a "single" female are contacted by a couple. DON'T BE NAIVE! You correspond with this couple, set up a meeting and guess what, only the male of the alleged couple shows up to meet you. You will get a line that "his wife or partner was called in to work, her mother became ill, the kids had something that came up" or a number of other excuses. These are just a few of the stories that we are hearing and that we've been told.

Always, and I stress always, CALL THE COUPLE AND TALK WITH THE FEMALE! If she is not there or is not "available" DO NOT set up a get together with them until you speak personally to her a few times. Once you do, make sure that she is really bi or bi curious and that she is truly desiring to get together, if that is what you are seeking.

Ask questions, don't worry... if she is truly into this you won't offend her, and if you do offend her oh well.... then she is not really what you are seeking unless of course you are seeking a bad and non-fulfilling rendezvous at best.

BE CAREFUL and use very good common sense, trust your gut when getting together with a couple or anyone for that matter!

I'm totally speaking from experience here. I am proud of the fact that I enjoy both my primary male partner as well as other female partners.  I did cohabited as a two women one man relationship for over 15 years. I really enjoyed it. I knew that I was able to have the best of both worlds anytime that I desired …Ha!Ha! Yah me!!

It is upsetting to me when I hear of ladies that are seeking their first bi experience ending up with a "bogus" couple where the only thing that the male of that couple really wanted is to "do" another female. It's like some males use their female partners as bait. Let me add that there is a BIG difference between being a bi female and a lesbian.

Yes, two of my best friends are happily married lesbian. Yes, I do have other lesbian friends as well. Back on track here.......Once again when you as a "single" female are ready to meet a couple and you met them online, get their phone number and call them. If they won't give you their number, then your "shit detector" should be going off!

Always speak to the female and ask her questions such as: How many females have you been with? Does your male partner always participate? How do you feel about that? Any and all questions that you as a "single" female want answered you should be asking. How often are you tested? -- and any other questions you feel are relevant. Ask her, don't ask him.

For those women that are truly seeking to get together with a couple, to experience as well as explore their bi curiosities, we are here to help. For the "single" bi female, my partner and I do often get together with bi and bi curious females.

We have throughout the past 20 years have been together with a number of women, those that have desired and that do desire to explore as well as those women that are very bi-sexually experienced.

Some women that Dave and I "play with" and that we have been together with have been on a one-time basis. Others we continually get together with on a frequent basis. A few, we have been getting together with for well over 15 years.

We do party/play at L'Sota Dance Blasts when asked by others, this includes of course couples where the female of the couple is bi as well as where she is straight. Of course we always play at Play Nights.

We most always get together with bi curious and bi females that ask us to play with them during non party times. I do also enjoy getting together with just other single females as well. We love to play! We truly do live and love the Alternative Adult Lifestyle.

I hope that I have answered some of your questions as well as your concerns here. If not, simply call or e-mail. Thank you for your interest in L'Sota. We look forward to meeting you.


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"Ask" Bi- Sexual Female F.A.Q.

Q. My husband wants me to be with another women while he is there but I don't want to do this, what should I do?

A. Does the word RUN mean anything to you? A great come back would be " OK, then you'll first be with another man". On second thought..... he might just take you up on that. Hehehe. Dave once-upon-a-time used that smart ass little saying.....until the woman called back and in tears said to Dave "he told me he would get together with another man" Seriously, if you don't want to then don't do it. It's not fair to you and particularly to the other woman, if you would even happen to find a woman to join you and your husband. Just as not all men are bi the same holds true for women.


Q. I want to get together with another woman without my husband being there with her and I. Is that OK?

A. You really should communicate your wants, needs and desires with and to your husband-COMMUNICATE! That is something that only the two of you can work out.


Q. I am interested in Play Nights as a single Bi female may I attend?

A. YES! You would be more then welcomed. Many if not most of the women that participate in Play Nights are in fact Bi sexual or at the least Bi curious.


Q. I would like to be with another women and have her do things to me, however, I don't want to do anything to her or I don't think I do is that possible and is that realistic?

A. YES! As long as you know it and she is aware of it. Once again communication is vital between all involved.


Q. I want to try a bi-sexual encounter but the online ads I have responded to all have appeared to me like the woman really does not want to, or that the ad was placed by a male. What I mean is, it seems like the woman has really no desire to have a bi experience but the male of the couple does. Most all males seem to me like they are pushing their wives to do this. So what can I do?

A. We at L'Sota have heard this one many many times before, more times then I wish we had. This is a simple one. Don't do it! Why? For the reason that many males have a major fantasy of being with two women at once. What oftentimes happens is that the female isn't even aware of the ad or ads being place. She may just go through with it just to shut him, her male partner up or she may do it in fear of losing her "happy" home a.k.a. her meal ticket.


Q. You being a bi-sexual woman, you and Dave get together with other women, don't you ever feel jealous?

A. Honestly yes, even if it's for a moment. The good news is that jealous should appear in every relationship it all depends on how you deal with it. Some jealousy is good, to much is bad and does in fact hinder the relationship. I am very turned on by watching Dave with another woman or with other women even if she and I don't do anything together. To have the best of both worlds is not for every woman. Communications is the key element in any relationship of any type or kind. You must be very secure in your relationship for it to work well.

A small tinge of jealousy can be dealt with in many positive ways. Negative jealousy is bad and should be avoided at all costs.


Q. Does it bother you that other women or another woman might be in your opinion better looking, nicer body or just "better" sexually?

A. No, it goes back to security. Being a women you're always or almost always going to compare bodies, looks and attitudes. You may think just because your partner desire to have sex with another woman at the club or at some other location that you're lacking something. YOU'RE NOT!

As difficult as it maybe, throw those emotions out the window. Now, let me share something with you gals........Men many times have more of a problem with who YOU as a female have sex with then what you could imagine. For many women that are experienced swingers, most if not all fully understand and have seen it, that being that another woman or women is, for the vast majority of men, simply pure 100% sex! That is how it should be at least in our opinion. Sex has nothing more to do with emotions then simply pure sex. Sex can be simply that is Swinging SEX!


Q. Do you really enjoy tasting another woman?

A. It depends upon the woman.  For me to, as you call it, "taste" another woman, I have to have somewhat of an attraction to her. Hygiene of course is vital, at least it is to most women. Do I really enjoy it? Yes!


Q. If you don't mind me asking, how many gals do you and Dave get together with in a year?

A. I would have to say on an average it would be some where around 4-6 new women a year. These are women that we have never been with before. We also get together with women on a regular basis that we have known and played with for many years. The actual numbers we play with will vary depending on the year. 


Q. Do you or Dave make the contacts with these women?

A. Sometimes it's myself, sometimes Dave does it. I make more then what Dave does. Dave does his own thing with the women he meets. Sometimes he and I end up eventally getting together with them, sometimes I never do meet them.


Q. Do women contact you or do you contact the women?

A. They most often contact us. At a dance for an example if a woman or women desires to party with myself and/or Dave they most often will approach us. As hosts of L'Sota we have a policy of not making the first move as we NEVER want anyone to ever think they MUST get together with us. On-line, it really depends. Many single bi curious or bi experienced females contact us off of my personal home pages. We on occasion respond to ads that are on the net. Play Nights? Yes, we always play!


Q. How do you know how to "indulge" a woman once you are with her?

A. You know what you like and what you enjoy. Most often you can start out doing it the way that you prefer having it done to you. Once you are into it, you then can see if she is responding. If not..ask! Once again, it all reverts back to communications!


Q. How do you get past the fear of being bi-sexual or being a lesbian?

A. I am not a lesbian therefore, I am not qualified to answer that portion of your question. The fear of being bi is just dealing with society. You must be able to be comfortable enough to do what is correct as well as what is right for you. Being able to talk (back to that word COMMUNICATIONS) and to be associated with like-minded and open minded women really helps. No one can take the fear away, that will come with experience.

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Questions? Simply call or e-mail us direct at

(319) 329-3306