L'Sota

Frequently Asked Questions


How do I obtain more information on L'Sota?
How do I make my spouse interested or participate in the lifestyle?
If I attend a L'Sota function do I have to do anything with anyone else?
How many people attend the Dance Blast Socials?
How many people attend Play Nights?
My spouse and I have discussed swinging but how do we know if it is for us?
What about jealousy?
I have heard people talk about rules they have for swinging. What are some examples of rules and why have them?
What are the L'Sota parties like?
What is the average age of the people that attend a L'Sota function?
How do we meet other people at L'Sota's Dance Blasts if we are new?
Do people use condoms?
Do you always connect with others at L'Sota functions?
Does L'Sota ever have problems with the single males or single females?
How many single females and single males are permitted to attend a L'Sota dance blast social?
We as a couple desire to attend a L'Sota dance but we don't want to do anything but dance and visit, is that all right?
We as a couple are only seeking a female to join us, are we able to find a single female to join us at L'Sota?
I am a single female seeking ONLY other females. Am I able to meet other single gals at L'Sota?
Are all the couples that attend L'Sota "pretty" people with glamour models looks
We want to be totally discreet, will everyone know our names and where we are from?
What if we/I see someone at a L'Sota function that we know?
Does L'Sota allow or promote public sex or public nudity?
Are we required as a couple to become "friends" with other couples or are we able to "party" with another couple and simply go home?
Are we required to be a married couple to attend L'Sota functions?
What is the attire for L'Sota's functions?
What is the minimum age requirement at L'Sota?
We as a couple would like to discuss with a couple that has experience within the Alternative Adult Lifestyle a few questions that we have, how are we able to do that?
As a single bi female, is there other females I am able to talk with about my questions and concerns from L'Sota?
How Long has L'Sota been a club?
Doesn't the few single males that are permitted to attend L'Sota dances hit on the females of couples as well as hit on the single females?
As a couple we thought that swinging and the Alternative Adult Lifestyle was a couple only thing, is that true?
As a single female will the female of couples think of me as a threat?
As a couple, the fact that single females and a very few single males are allowed to attend the dances bothers us. The reason is that I am not wanting the few single males that do attend to think of my female partner as a "piece of meat", is that what happens when single males are at a dance?
How do we become L'Sota members?
Once we are a L'Sota member and are registered to attend a function how do we determine where the function is to be held?
























Q. How do I obtain more information on L'Sota?

A. We suggest that you sit down with your partner and read over our website. If you have specific questions please feel free to call us at 319-329-3306 or simply e-mail us at LSOTA@aol.com.
Q. How do I make my spouse interested or participate in the lifestyle?
A. You should never try to force your spouse to participate in the lifestyle. You will do better to simply ask your spouse if they would like to try the Lifestyle and ask them to attend an orientation so any questions you and your spouse may have can be answered.

Simply respect your spouse and don't try to push or it may end up backfiring on you. If that happens, you may never enjoy the Lifestyle as a couple. You and/or your partner maybe surprised at what you thought swinging was or what it wasn't. It just may be better and more enjoyable then even you imagined.

Most often it's the male of a couple that brings up the idea of attending a L'Sota function with his wife or a female partner. It does happen when it's her idea; even males have apprehensions about attending a true Swing Club, believe it or not. After completion of orientation and after experiencing a L'Sota Dance or a L'Sota Play Nights it's often the female of the couple that is excited about returning to the next L'Sota function.

Sorry guys, that's simply the truth!


Q. If I attend a L'Sota function do I have to do anything with anyone else?
A. Absolutely NOT!!!! In fact, a rumor was started years ago that you had to "sleep" with the hosts of L'Sota before becoming a member. To date, we have yet to have that as a prerequisite to joining L'Sota. Rumors within the Lifestyle is something that has always been and for some will always be. Such is life. We avoid rumors at all costs but then again we think and investigate if it's something we desire to find out. Some seem to be unable to do so.

You never have to do anything with anyone for any reason that you don't want to do. L'Sota provides members with a safe, comfortable and clean setting in a no pressure atmosphere. You should be honest with whomever approaches you and simply tell them you don't plan on playing if in fact you are approached about getting together if that is the case for that evening. At L'Sota we strictly enforce NO means NO!


Q. How many people attend the Dance Blast Socials?
A. That always depends on the night, but it usually ranges anywhere from 10 - 50 quality couples and singles. What you will discover is that those that do attend are most often not simply "window shopping" even at a Dance Blast.

We care much more, we are sure you do also, about quality then what we do about quantity.

Unlike Meet & Greets where the couples and singles capital investment is none, those that take the time and the money to join and attend L'Sota, most often either desire to learn to talk the talk and walk the walk or thry already talk the talk and walk the walk. All of us however started our Lifestyle experience and adventure somewhere. We were of course all new at one time.

Some that have attended L'Sota sometimes refer to L'Sota as the "University" of swing clubs.

Few attend L'Sota to drink like a fish or act like a 12 year old. L'Sota's member couples and single females are couples and females that not only have their relationships and their sexuality together but their lives as well. L'Sota has never and shall never be about drama!


Q. How many people attend Play Nights?
A. Again this depends on the night. We limit the number of couples that attend Play Nights to 5, we also permit single females to attend Play Nights. A max total of 10 individuals. It's all in one hotel room therefore the numbers are limited. It's a pure hedonistic evening of sexual satisfaction and fun.
Q. My spouse and I have discussed swinging but how do we know if it is for us?
A. Well to be honest with you, this lifestyle is not for everyone. You should ask yourselves the following basic questions;

Why do we (as a couple) want to join and participate in swapping within the Lifestyle? (be honest with yourself)

Do you want to do it because it's simply the "vogue" or "in" thing to do?

Can I truly handle seeing or hearing another person playing and pleasing my partner?

Can I handle it if my partner enjoys the Lifestyle more then what I do or more then I expected? Am I an overly jealous or a possessive person?

Do we enjoy drinking more then what we enjoy sex? ( if yes, L'Sota is not for you)

Is our relationship secure and stable?

Do we honestly respect each other?

Do you have an open line of communication with your partner? Do you really listen to your partner?

Open communications with your partner as well as others is one of the biggest keys to making the Lifestyle work for you as a couple!!!!

Come check it out, see for yourself if in fact it's correct for you. Come with no expectations other then to have a great time with your partner.


Q. What about jealousy?
A. Jealousy can be dealt with either positively or negatively. If you choose to deal with it negatively you won't last long in the Lifestyle. You should always have some tiny degree of jealousy otherwise your relationship is in trouble. You just need to deal with it positively, communication is a very important aspect of any relationship no matter if you "swing" or not.
Q. I have heard people talk about rules they have for swinging. What are some examples of rules and why have them?
A. Rules are a good thing to have for couples, and the reason being is so you both know what is acceptable for you to do while playing with others. When you have rules you don't have to worry about doing something that will upset your partner. By talking about it first and setting your rules you both can have a better time since you know your partner will not become upset. Example rules:

Always have to swing in the same room with each other.

Condoms must be worn.

No deep kissing of others.

We always have to swing in separate rooms.

We always have to swing in the same room.

Rules are to be what ever you as a couple agree upon. There are no such things as "silly rules," the rules you set are to make you both feel more comfortable. Always stick to your rules. Of course, you as a couple can always change your rules at anytime after discussing it with each other first.

We suggest you never change your rules in the middle of a function. Your Lifestyle experience is all about you as a couple. You are able to experiment sexually within the Lifestyle to any degree as long as all that are involved consensually agree. You may discover that the longer you swing, the less amount of rules you may have.


Q. What are the L'Sota parties like?
A. L'Sota parties are what you make of them. It can be wild if that is what you want it to be or it can be mild. It is all up to you. L'SOTA sets the place, you set your own pace. Whatever is comfortable for you as a couple or single. Please always remember RESPECT as well as DISCRETION for all others as well as for yourself. You will be with like-minded couples, therefore to openly and honestly discuss your sexuality with others is normal per conversations. It's ok to let yourself go and enjoy.

The Dance Blasts: Being a new couple to L'Sota first you'll attend orientation for approximately 1 hour, You'll meet other new couples and new single females as well as the hosts of L'Sota.

After orientation you'll have time to change clothes if you desire, grab a bite to eat and relax. Then at 8:00 pm the ballroom opens and the soft mingle music begins. At 8:30 The   dance music begins with fast as well as slow dance from the 60's through today's hits. Requests are always welcome. During the dance you'll be introduced to many other couples.

During the dance we do "Ice breakers" to get you out onto the dance floor to meet others. Those dances are the Spoon Dance as well as the Snow Ball dance. These are great ice breakers.

When the dance concludes at 11:30 pm you'll have time to go to your room if you desired to obtain a room and shower and relax for a while. If you don't have a room and desire to shower you're welcome to use the shower in the Hospitality Suites after they open at midnight (please bring your own towels and soap if you desire showering in the Hospitality Suite) The Hospitality and Group Suites open at midnight and remains open until 3:00 a.m. No one is ever required to attend the Hospitality or enter the Group Suite.

The Hospitality Suite is just that a private Hotel room where member couples nd singles meet to mingle relax and enjoy conversations. You may bring your cooler and beverages in as well. We suggest you wear something comfy such as PJ's or even lingerie and a robe.

Connected to the Hospitality Suite you'll discover the Group Suite. This is a no clothing area where couples go in as a couple and leave as a couple. You are able to play simply with just your partner or with others. Singles may go into the Group Suite by an invitation of a couple. Couples must both enter and leave the Group Suite together. You may NOT leave your partner in the GS, if he or she leave the GS the other must vacate as well.

Remember at L'Sota even in the Group Suite or any where else, NO thanks means NO thanks!


Q. What is the average age of the people that attend a L'Sota function?
A. Members ages range from early 20's to late 60's but the average age would be somewhere in the mid to upper 30's. Couples in their 60's within the Lifestyle are certainly not at all out of place. Couples in their 20's are less common as many couples in their 20's are simply not totally secure with themselves, their sexuality or their relationship. There are, of course, exceptions to this.
Q. How do we meet other people at L'Sota's Dance Blasts if we are new?
A. It's no different then meeting others at any type of social event. Introduce yourself and go from there. If you are a new couple or single at a L'Sota function the hosts as well as many other couples will introduce you making you feel very warmly welcomed and comfortable.

The hosts will introduce you to others. You will discover at L'Sota you are always so very welcomed. What you won't find at L'Sota are cliques, pushy couples and singles. That type of behavior shall not be tolerated. No one will just walk up to you and say "let's fuck" or play grab ass with you or your patner. If you see someone you would like to get together with you should approach them and ask if they would be interested in "getting together".   After all, we are all adults, not out to play doctor behind the barn.

You may also ask the hosts of L'Sota to introduce you specifically to another couple or single. Just be yourself or yourselves. You shall not have a difficult time fitting in and you WILL meet others that are like minded.

Once you have mastered "meeting others" you'll become very comfortable doing so. We will help you do so if you'll simply ask.

 


Q. Do people use condoms?
A. Yes some people use condoms and some don't or won't. You have to make a choice to do what makes you feel most comfortable. That is something to discuss BEFORE heading off to play with a couple or a single. If others don't like your choice on condoms, then you just won't connect with those people. But if someone really wants to connect they will respect your choice. It is estimated that 10% of all couples use condoms all the time while swinging. The ultimate choice is yours.
Q. Do you always connect with others at L'Sota functions?
A. No you don't, many do but some don't. We can't or won't guarantee that you will connect with others, that is totally up to you. If you see someone you are interested in getting to know you have to take the initiative to introduce yourself to them and let them know you are interested in getting together with them to play. The more practice you have, the more relaxed you'll become at it.
Q. Does L'Sota ever have problems with the single males or single females?
A. No. L'Sota does not have problems. One major reason is that our process of admitting couples as well as singles is a process that identifies those who may cause problems as well as issues. They, the potential problem people, are eliminated before they ever get into a L'Sota function. After 20 plus years, L'Sota has had less then a handful of problems. The few problems that have occurred has always been within a couple. The few couples that had a problem just didn't have it together between themselves and had consumed to much alcohol. This again has occurred less then 4 times in over a 20 year period.
Q. How many single females and single males are permitted to attend a L'Sota Dance Blast social?
A.  Single limited male memberships are difficult for a single male to obtain. Single limited male memberships are restricted to a maximum of three (3) single limited male members per function. Seldom, if ever, do single males attend. Single females on the other hand have been as high as four per a Dance Blast and Play Nights.

Play Nights, no single males are permitted. Single females are permitted.


Q. We as a couple desire to attend a L'Sota dance but we don't want to do anything but dance and visit, is that all right?
A.  Certainly! Never are you as a couple or single ever "required" to do anything at anytime with anyone for any reason that you are not 100% comfortable doing no matter what that is. You are more then welcome to come and check out the friendly, clean, no pressure setting of a L'Sota Dance Blast. We invite you to come and see if it's for you. Membership IS required.
Q. We as a couple are only seeking a female to join us, are we able to find a single female to join us at L'Sota?
A.  Anything is possible. The likelihood is remote. There are so many couples that are seeking the extra female thing or shall we say the male of a couple is seeking the fantasy of two females to play with.

Many males push their female partner hard to do the "bi" female thing. Many single bi females tend to stay playing with couples that they know have experiences with single females. Some single females simply desire to play with other women without being watched by any male(s).

Some of the single females that attend L'Sota are seeking other single females only. Therefore do not take offense if a single female says "NO THANKS". For that matter never take offense to anyone that says "NO THANKS". Another suggestion? Never ask "why not" as you may not want to know the answer plus it's impolite to ask "why not"!


Q. I am a single female seeking ONLY other females. Am I able to meet other single women at L'Sota?
A.  You may. There are single women that attend L'Sota that would love to meet you as a single female. Single females that attend L'Sota are sometimes seeking couples and sometimes their seeking other single females only.
Q. Are all the couples that attend L'Sota "pretty" people with glamour model bodies?
A.  No. The L'Sota membership is made up of everyday people. Every conceivable size and shape are L'Sota members. Tall, short, slender, large, medium etc. At L'Sota attitude, cleanliness and personality is much more important then looks. L'Sota members are real everyday people just like you.
Q. We want to be totally discreet, will everyone know our names and where we are from?
A. NO! Not if you don't want them to. Only the hosts of L'Sota which there are two shall know your true identity. If you so desire for an example, your name tags could be Minney and Mickey. The information that you desire to provide to the members is just that, information that you desire to share.

You are the only one(s) that will tell or not tell your personal information to the general membership. L'Sota has for well over 20 years and shall continue to keep all membership information strictly confidential. L'Sota has a proven track record of confidentiality for well over 20 years.

L'Sota is one of if not the most discreet adults only club in the entire US. L'Sota takes great care and extreme precautions, much more so then any other club that we are aware of. At L'Sota we keep discretion a top as well as a major priority.

Many couples and single females attend L'Sota because L'Sota is in fact so very discreet.


Q. What if we/I see someone at a L'Sota function that we know?
A. In the past 20 plus years of L'Sota being a club this has happened less then a handful of times. We can recall these occasions. On one of these occasions the couples involved thought after the initial shock that it was great. It involved distant relatives, "certainly would give Grandma something to talk about" they laughed.

If you would see someone that you know, they would not know what you were doing other then they would be doing the same thing. That would be simply attending a L'Sota function, checking it out. They would not know what, where or with whom you partied with if in fact you were to party as long as it wasn't with them. This is one of the many reasons why L'Sota is dedicated to discretion.


Q. Does L'Sota allow or promote public sex or public nudity?
A. NO! Never has and never will. L'Sota sets the place the membership sets the pace. Public nudity is not allowed at any L'Sota function. We repeat.... Public sex is also not allowed at any L'Sota function.

What consenting adults do in the privacy of their homes, hotel/motel rooms, or the private hotel/motel rooms of other adults is their business. In fact, L'Sota has strict rules regarding this. If public nudity is detected at any location where L'Sota is hosting an event those involved are subjected to immediate removal from the location as well as immediate revocation of their L'Sota membership(s). Even to flash in public is not condoned by L'Sota. Why flaunt it? For the "shock" value? That's immaturity at its finest!


Q. Are we required as a couple to become "friends" with other couples or are we able to "party" with another couple and then simply go home?
A. At L'Sota you are never required to be friends or not become friends with anyone or party with anyone. The only requirement is that you are totally respectful and discreet of all other members in attendance.

If you desire to be friends that is your choice, if you desire to be aloof that is fine as well. The choice is totally yours. We do understand that to become friends for some often times jeopardizes the discretionary factor. You do it how ever you are the most comfortable. There is not a right or wrong way to do it. It's all up to you.

Many feel that to in fact become friends first would take truly several years. There is a big difference between acquaintances and true friends. Some feel as though they can justify playing with others if they are "friends" what ever works, if justification is required then that's cool.


Q. Are we required to be a married couple to attend L'Sota functions?
A. No. L'Sota's membership consists of many married couples, other couples are in a committed type of relationship and not married. Couples that are simply "buddies" are also welcome to attend. Security, honesty and commitment between two is what is important to any long term relationship. Playmates attending together? That is not an issue at L'Sota.
Q. What is the attire for L'Sota's functions?
A. Your attire would be completely up to you. At the L'Sota Dance Blasts we usually have some kind of a theme. This is always fun and at least half of the members participate. Other wise it is a good time to wear sexy clothes, comfy clothing or again what ever you desire. Please just remember, all genitals and nipples while in the ballroom must remain covered.

For the Hospitality and Group Suite you will feel comfortable in simply a robe or a cover up. At L'Sota's Dance Blast Socials you will see Jeans, Dockers, Shorts, Polo's and button down shirts to sport coats and skirts, even an occasional dress etc. While in any public area of a motel/hotel please ware what you would want your children to see a person wearing. In other words, be respectful of those that are not within our group and those that are kids.

At Play Nights come comfortable as you won't be dressed long. At Play Nights you'll see sweats, T-shirts, Jeans etc. No need to dress to impress at Play Nights.


Q. What is the minimum age requirement at L'Sota?
A. You must be 21 years of age or older to become a L'Sota member as well as to attend any L'Sota function. This is STRICTLY enforced! Id's are always checked.
Q. We as a couple would like to discuss with a couple that has experience within the Alternative Adult Lifestyle a few questions that we have, how are we able to do that?
A.  You are able to do that by calling us direct on the L'Sota hotline at 319-329-3306. The hosts of L'Sota shall be more then happy to answer any of your questions. We would be happy to sit down with you in person over an iced tea or coffee or on the phone to discuss with you as a couple or single any questions and/or concerns that you might have. We are here for you!
Q. As a single bi female, are there other females I am able to talk with about my questions and concerns from L'Sota?
A.  Yes. There are a few hosts of L'Sota who possess experience as bi sexual females and have been bi sexual for a number of years. Simple phone the L'Sota hotline at 319-329-3306. Simply indicate you are a bi female and desire to talk with a bi female. They are always ready to assist with your questions and concerns.
Q. How long has L'Sota been a club?
A.  L'Sota has been a true Swing Club since 1988.

In late 2009 we took the time to talk with and rethink what most true "swingers" desire from a swing club. What we discovered was that most quality couples seek quality couples. Couples and single females that are NOT into illegal drugs and NOT heavy into alcohol consumption. Simply middle class and up that desire truly discrete hedonistic fun and pleasures.

There are other "clubs" that have came and gone that have and will in the future attempt to copy L'Sota's format. However, L'Sota is the initiator NOT the imitator of the Alternative Adult Lifestyle for all of of Iowa, Illinois and the midwest. Thanks to the new L'Sota membership's L'Sota shall remain the finest.


Q. Doesn't the few single limited males that are permitted to attend L'Sota dances hit on the females of couples as well as hit on the single females?
A. NO! In fact if any single male, male of a couple, single female or female of a couple would "hit" on anyone they would be talked with regarding their aggressiveness. To ask one to dance is quite all right or to ask someone to play but to "hit" on someone is not. "Hitting on" implies not taking NO as an answer.
Q. As a couple we thought that swinging and the Alternative Adult Lifestyle was a couples only thing, is that true?
A.  It can be what ever you as a couple want it to be. Nowhere is it carved in granite that swinging as well as the Alternative Adult Lifestyle is a couples only thing. If at a L'Sota function there are single females as well as a very few single males in attendance and you as a couple are not into singles, then stay away from them. That part is very simple. You are not required to have anything at all to do with the singles if that is your desire.

A few clubs allow single males with no or few restrictions, L'Sota is not one of those clubs.


Q. As a single female will the female of couples think of me as a threat?
A. No! The vast majority if not all females of couples and other single females will warmly welcome you. The hosts as well as the co-hosts of L'Sota will make you feel like part of the L'Sota "family" from the start. You will always be welcomed and treated with the utmost of repect at all L'Sota functions.
Q. As a couple, the fact that single females and a very few single males are allowed to attend the dances bother us. The reason is that I am not wanting the few single males that do attend to think of my female partner as a "piece of meat", is that what happens when single males are at a dance?
A. That is not what happens. As we perviously addressed, the number of single males attending is very limited as the single male must be interviwed in person before being offered a limited single male membership. Your wife or female partner shall not be treated like a piece of meat by any single male, male of a couple or for that matter another female. L'Sota has a "no tolerance" for any member couple, member single female or limited single male member, to treat others in the club in any way other than with total respect.

There are males that enjoy watching their female partner with another male or males. If this is your thing as a couple, quality males may be found at L'Sota or you may simply ask a couple if the "he" of the couple could play with you as a couple.


Q. How do we become L'Sota members?
A. To become a L'Sota member you shall be required to of course join L'Sota Join L'Sota this will link you to an area where you can join L'Sota.
Q. Once we are a L'Sota member and are registered to attend a function how do we determine where the function is to be held?
A. L'Sota does in fact personally and discreetly call or e-mail all members that are registered for a L'Sota function. Directions as well as the location is provided at that time. Please keep this information confidential.
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Questions? Simply call or e-mail us direct at

(319) 329-3306.

Email: lsota@aol.com

WE DON'T WANT TO PARTY WITHOUT YOU!