L'Sota & Lifestyle Etiquette


NO MEANS NO. Above all don't be pushy. Remember that freedom of choice is every individual's right in swinging and respecting that right is only common courtesy. Learn how to handle a "No", graciously. If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way. Everyone has the right to say "NO" thanks at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Please do not ever forget that, DON'T ask why, you may not want to know!


BE FRIENDLY AND COURTEOUS. Respect yourself, your partner all others at all times. Whether or not you are personally interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.


ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES, INCLUDING MARIJUANA, ARE PROHIBITED at all responsible swing clubs and swing private parties. Swinging is its own pleasure, don't dilute it and don't subject yourself and others to legal problems and issues. Going in and out of the party or dance to your car will be suspect. Don't do it.


ARRIVE ON TIME. It isn't fashionable to arrive late to a swing party.


ARRIVE AS A COUPLE AND LEAVE AS A COUPLE WHEN ATTENDING A SWING DANCE OR PARTY. It is frowned upon by most hosts and other swingers when a partner, usually the woman, departs, leaving her mate at the party as a single.


ATTRACTIVE BUT CLEAN CASUAL PARTY CLOTHES are usually best. If you're attending an on-premise party or a L'Sota Dance Blast, take a robe, negligee or other slip-on. You may find it more comfortable as the evening continues.

At L'Sota it's a good idea to wear a robe in the Hospitality Suites. If you are attending a dance then you may want to dress according to the theme of the party or at the least in clean clothing. You don't need to wear suits or fancy dresses but also don't wear dirty and torn clothing.

What you wear will either help attract others to you or make them steer clear of you. Keep money, jewelry, and other valuables at a minimum. If they are lost, it's a problem for you, and an embarrassment to your hosts. Take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, condoms, etc...


CLEANLINESS AND GOOD GROOMING is essential for swinging participants. Be aware of your body and take care of it. Be especially aware of any repugnant body odor you may develop due to the rather physical nature of these activities. Even a kiss can be repulsive if delivered on a breath heavy with the taste of cigarettes or liquor. Always keep your "privates" or for some, your "publics" clean and fresh!


A GOOD MENTAL ATTITUDE AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH will make you popular in the swinging community. No one appreciates the negative person with nothing good to say about the party, other persons, or swinging. The man or woman with the smile, ready laugh and obvious interest in others is the person others like to be around.


DON'T TAKE A "TICKET" TO A SWING PARTY. A ticket is someone who has no intention of swinging but is willing to go along to get someone else in. No one must swing at a party, of course, but if one person swings, it is expected that the other is willing and free to do the same.


DON'T TAKE SOMEONE TO A SWING PARTY WHO IS NOT FULLY INFORMED as to the nature of the party and their expected behavior.


DON'T DISTURB THE SWINGING ENJOYMENT OF OTHERS in a bedroom, Orgy Room or other swing areas where playing is taking place with loud or prolonged talking or laughing.


THE GROUP ROOM IS FOR GROUP SWINGING. If you want privacy, don't go to the Group Suite. If you take your partner or any other person to the Group Suite to swing, you can expect others to ask to join you and your partner. (The right of refusal always applies, of course. Swinging in the group room doesn't automatically give others the right to join you).


SWING CLUB PARTIES HAVE PARTY DUES OR DONATIONS. It is your responsibility to present it upon being checked in for a party. Don't make the hosts remind you.


IF A PARTY IS BYOB (BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE), ONLY DRINK WHAT YOU BRING. Never help yourself to what others have brought without their permission. This is another of the much violated rules of swinging etiquette, and one that causes anger among the party guests. Always bring your own mixes or ask if mixes will be available.


TELL THE HOSTS if another guest causes a problem, won't take "no" for an answer, or is objectionable in any real way. They sincerely want to know so they can correct the problem. Keeping problems and bad feelings to yourself only contributes tension to the situation.


IF YOU LIKE A CLUB OR PARTY, SAY SO. IF IT JUST ISN'T YOUR THING, LEAVE. To speak despairingly of a club, a party or about anyone to the other guests is simply poor manners. Drama is NOT wanted and it's NOT the "vogue" or "in" thing to do at L'Sota or at most any quaility swing club.
17 NOTHING TURNS OFF a person faster and more effectively than an unclean body or stale breath. When you shower, wash your ass! It is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. Traveling more than a few hours will undo a lot of your personal grooming.
18 DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are at the party and in the swinging lifestyle to enjoy yourself, therefore only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.

GOOD OLD FASHIONED MANNERS suggest that after you have attended a party you should either write or call and thank the hosts. This will bring you benefits. You will be remembered as someone who shows appreciation. As always, it comes down to treating others how you would like to be treated.

20 DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK. Couples and single females will get up the nerve to go to a swingers club, looking for a night of fun but then will forget to actually ask anybody to play with them. Sure, some may say "no" sometimes when you ask them to join you, but they also are just as likely to say "yes".
21 ASK YOUR PLAY PARTNER for Feedback. Find out what she/he, the other couple or couples like before going off to play or during, not after. Everyone's plays to enjoy themselves, and it'll be all that much better if everyone's open and honest about what they like and dislike.
22 DON'T HIDE IN THE CORNER. Couples and single females sometimes wonder why nobody's talking to them or do anything sexual or non sexual with them. Maybe it's because you're sulking in the corner of the ballroom, or otherwise keeping to yourselves. It's okay if you don't want to be noticed, but if that's the case, why did you attend anyway?
23 KNOW YOUR OWN LIMITS. You and your partner should know your limits before you leave your home. It's okay to have fickle tastes but make sure everybody involved understands them, including yourself.

DO NOT APPROACH ANOTHER'S PARTNER WHEN THEY ARE SEPARATED. Approaching another's partner when one has left for the bathroom or cigarette break, does not allow you the green light to pursue. If your person of interest is attending as a couple, have the respect to approach them as such. The swing lifestyle is all about respect and communication. Yet if you are approached by one half of a couple, always warmly welcome them to bring their partner. This way you steer clear of any miscommunication.

25 ATTEND WITH FUN IN MIND & WITH A GREAT ATTITUDE. Simply set your sights on having a fun filled night. As a couple, the most important person is your partner. Leave the notion of "I better get lucky tonight" at home. If you and your partner approach an event with the same fun attitude, it emanates from you, and others will be drawn to that. Having a confident fun attitude is sexy.
26 MOST PEOPLE in the swinging lifestyle do not use drugs, though many drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". Over indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. No drugs, with the exception of the sex pills such as viagra and cialis, have any positive effect on your sexual performance. A drugged up person will be quickly ejected by any self respecting party host.
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Questions? Simply call or e-mail us direct at

(319) 329-3306

Email: lsota@aol.com